From beautiful San Diego

The OH & I are in San Diego this weekend. OH is here for a conference and I am the pile on. Hoping to having a quiet weekend of R&R. The hotel we are staying at is in the heart of downtown San Diego, walking distance from the Gaslamp district and the beach. The weather is gorgeous and the view is breathtaking. Our room has a dock and speakers for my ipod and internet access. What more could I ask for? Life is bliss. Will write more as I check out cool places in the next couple of days. It’s time to get back to my reading……

Working out to Salsa Music or looking like a complete idiot?

A bit of both is probably the answer. After all my rants about the lack of exercising in my life, I took my determined self into the local rec center to register for their classes. This facility, I was told is state of the art and has all things I was looking for in a fitness center. To make it more enticing it comes at a price that won’t need me to file for bankruptcy any time soon (anti-jinx). So after much deliberation and research into all my available options I hauled self on my way back from work to register at the said facility. As I looked listfully at the schedule they handed to me of their group exercise classes, I realized to my dismay that they didn’t have too many classes listed in the times that work for me. Resolute in the thought that I wasn’t going to let this deter me, I made a deal with the OH that similar to my accommodating his passion for playing cricket, he needs to chip in to help me get my hour of workout 2 days a week, at the very minimum. A tentative schedule was worked out (which am sure will cause many painful workarounds & subsequent arguments in the coming months.)

I returned home promising myself that I would start the exercise schedule the following week. Everytime I glanced at the sheet of paper sitting beside me on the passenger seat, I could not help but wish that I could make it to the Salsa class that was scheduled for 7 p.m. the same day. The mother in me prompted me to skip this class since I had promised Raul that I would take him to the movie he has been wanting to watch for a week now. I checked their schedule to see if they offered a session on friday afternoon. Unfortunately there were no sessions past 11:30 am on friday. Disappointment set in as I realized I wouldn’t be able to start my workout till the following week.

Given that I am the kind of person that has to do something right away once I set my mind to it, I walked into the house to see Raul come running to me excited about our trip to the movie. I shamelessly requested him if we could trade the movie time to friday afternoon instead of thursday night. To my benefit I even went online and checked movie times for friday. I told him that I would love to go for my salsa class on thursday but if that would make him unhappy, I would gladly give it up to take him to the movies. I also told him it would make me extremely happy if he could just this once let me take this class and swap the movie for the next day. Raul, being who he is was more than willing to let me trade. I realized that it tore his little heart to not go to the movie that night but he stood brave and stuck to his decision to let me go. For a soon to be 8 yr old to do that for him mom is something rare and I was touched. Raul, I owe you one for letting me do this buddy. I promise to make it up to you today. You showed me yet again how special & sensitive you are to other people and their wishes. I am lucky indeed to call you mine:)

I hurriedly changed into my workout clothes and hauled a very out of shape self into the exercise studio to what I knew going in, was going to be nothing short of capital punishment. The instructor was brutal (amazing) and made parts of my body that I never knew existed cry for absolute mercy. The sight of 14 women trying to dance and work out to the beat of Latin music was absolutely hilarious. I am glad we didn’t have any spectators coz I am convinced they would have died of hysterics. The only fact that made this any less embarrasing was that everyone in the room was trying to follow the beat and keep the speed and looked just as ridiculous as the other. At about 45 minutes into the class, we were all literally groaning and pleading to be let go. Every part of my being was pleading for a break. After an hour of intense exercising, we were finally able to take a break. I don’t think I have had so much fun while putting my body through a wringer (oh wait, the other times were when I delivered Meg & Raul.) There was much pleasure in pain during those times too.

As I walked (wobbled) out of the gym after the class, the body was just completely stretched and I was literally moaning in pain. The mind to the contrary, was experiencing the most joyous moment at the thought that I had finally given priority to the passion that I had pursued for years before and even for a few years after the kids were born. I am now hooked, addicted or whatever else the term out there is. I just wish I am able to keep up with this schedule and fulfil on the promise I made to self for 2 hours a week of me time to pursue one of the things I love to do, not to mention the added bonus of hopefully maintaining a fit and healthy body.

The fact that I am out of the bed and at work this morning is nothing more than sheer will power to keep moving. Slept like a log and had to use every ounce of convincing self to haul myself out of bed. There’s nothing like putting your body through a good workout to deal with insomnia, I guess.

Summer vacation is here

Boy, the kids are excited. They get to sleep in, watch TV to their heart’s content, read, play Nintendo, Gameboy and the likes, run around the backyard, tease the dog, stay up late and do all the fun things that makes summer vacation so special.

The OH & I have always tried and been fortunate enough to have grandparents visit & spend time with the kids during their summer break. Both of us have fond memories of staying home with no agenda and just spending days on end reading and playing out on the street with the kids from the neighborhood. In spite of all those summer camps that offer the best summer activity, we have always favored leaving them home with the grandparents. After all, they learn so much more about our culture and get more fluent speaking our language when they are home with grandparents. Unfortunately they don’t get the luxury of playing outdoors with friends from the neighborhood but they more than make up for that during the weekends when we hang out more often with friends and they get to play with their buddies.

When Meg & Raul were younger, they were keen on attending summer activities ‘coz they were bored staying home but as they have grown older, they truly appreciate being able to stay home and bask in the joy of not having a routine to follow. The OH & I sometimes wonder if we should enroll them in some program to enable them to take advantage of all this free time but our decision is always the same. Let kids be kids and enjoy the luxury of not having to run through a strict schedule even during their holidays. It is the time for them to use their creativity to come up with fun activities and things to do. Didn’t we stay home every break, do nothing and still turn out just fine?

As long as I have grandparents healthy and willing to come spend time with the kids, I wouldn’t trade that for any summer camp or activity. The bonding with their grandparents is priceless and is the best gift I can give them as they grow up to appreciate the memories they will come to associate later with these fun times. When I return home from work to see the kids playing a round of Parcheesi or Scrabble with their grandparents, it gives me a sense of contentment and happiness to see them in the care of the same individuals who raised us and love our kids just as much if not more. I say a silent prayer wishing for this to last forever.

Meanwhile, it’s movie time tonight with Raul. I promised to take him on a date to watch the Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian since Meg got to watch it with her friends last week. Oh the joys of summer vacation when I get to sleep in for an extra thirty minutes since there isn’t the morning rush to pack lunch and place the breakfast on the table for the kids:)

Exercise err or the lack of…

Meg & Raul are a couple of months shy of turning 11 & 8. The “I haven’t lost my weight beacuse of my kids” excuse just doesn’t fly anymore. This is magnified, of course, when I see all those friends I hang out with looking spectacular in spite of having kids younger much than my own. So what is the problem with getting off my a$$ and getting back in shape? I would like to think that it’s time or more likely lack of. Given the fact that I drive the kids to swim lessons three days during the week after school and their soccer, music and dance lessons over the weekend, there is not much time to set aside for self. I have made all the usual resolutions to take a walk in the evening after dinner and the likes, but after a long drive to and from work, a busy day at work and an evening shift catering to the kids and their needs, there is not much energy left to dedicate to self.

Several attempts at taking swim lessons on saturday mornings failed as well thanks to hanging out late night with friends on fridays. Obviously that is not something that can be sacrificed given that it contributes to maintaining sanity most of the time. Add to that is the need to rush back from swim lessons to escort the kids to their various lessons and not feel guilty about delegating weekend cooking to grandparents as well. All this thought about exercising, without actually accomplishing anything has resulted in a sore back and a body that is completely bent out of shape, looking and feeling ancient.

Fueling this frustration is the fact that the OH has unearthed his passion for cricket that has been lying dormant for years now. He has found a home for his passion in the form of a league that pits teams against one another during the gorgeous winter months the city we live in offers. His decision to set aside all other priorities in lieu of his passion does not make it any easier on me to find the time to break a sweat and attempt to look & feel any more fit. Apart from the routine drooling that happens at the sight of a fitness center, no efforts have been taken to put the body to the test.

The one last straw to break the camel’s back was when a friend I was meeting after about a month’s break looked at me and observed loudly “You have gained weight.” Before I could allow myself to completely wallow in self-pity, he redeemed himself by saying “But you look so much better now.” I realize it’s time for some realigning of priorities and finding the time to get the much needed workout. Wish me luck!!

Thank you, Mr. Murfin & Ms Vaughan!

“Teacher : The child’s third parent.” – Hyman Berston

As the school year ends, the kids & I have been planning on a gift to their teachers before they go on their summer break. While planning on the gifts for their teachers, Meg called me at work to tell me that her teacher Mr. Murfin was leaving her school and returning to his hometown for better opportunities. She was a little disappointed by the fact that she would not be meeting him again when she returned to school after summer break. She was disappointed also that Raul will not have this teacher when he gets to 5th grade. She and I spent a few moments talking about how cool he was to the kids and how she will miss him. I pointed out to her that she will miss him for sure but will always remember him fondly and encouraged her to keep in her mind everything he had done for their class the whole year. I have been meaning to write about these amazing teachers who have been an integral part of Meg & Raul’s life this year and this seemed like the perfect opportunity.

The OH & I have struggled just as every other parent when it comes to the decision of the school we wanted Meg & Raul to attend. There are obviously the wide variety of choices ranging from the expensive private schools to the Montessori schools to the public/charter/specialized schools etc etc. Both the OH & I decided not to enroll them in the private schools that cost an arm and a leg as we believe that the money spent there is much better off being saved for their college education. After all, if the kids learns their alphabets a year later than the kids at the private school, that was just fine by us. We always believed that the teacher the children learned from made a bigger impact on their lives than the school itself.

Meg & Raul have had their fair share of good/average teachers (thankfully no bad ones — anti jinx here). Fortunately both my kids are fairly easy to please and it doesn’t take much for them to warm up to their teachers. They have always had issues moving up a grade for the fact that they lose the teacher they have had the previous year. Meg has always had her friend, who is a year older than her, to give her tit bits on her next teacher prior to her starting school. Meg started with Mr. Murfin in 5th grade and anything I can say about how much she has enjoyed this year with him will fall short. Mr. Murfin has proved over and over again that it is not the experience of the teacher that makes them special but how much they enjoy and value shaping the lives of little children who look up to them. Not only has he worked with them throughout the year on learning to be independant thinkers, but has very beautifully taught them to survive in the real world without hurting their little hearts. He has demonstrated to them the love for animals by encouraging them to care for their class pet, Shadow. He has endeared himself to them by sharing personal stories from his life. He has taught them the wonders of music by playing to them. He has always been available to them to encourage, coach them while maintaining their respect and fear of their teacher.

For the parents, he has been a treasure. It is not always easy to get your child to say everything that happens at school. Kids have so many things on their mind that details that are important to parents are things that kids mostly forget to communicate. Mr. Murfin has been amazing via his weekly emails, letting parents know about important lessons being taught in class and requesting help to reiterate these lessons at home. His communications have given us a glimpse of Meg’s day when she is away from us. Mr. Murfin, you have truly been awesome. Meg & I have enjoyed having you as her 5th grade teacher. I am confident that Meg will carry the lessons and memories from your class for many many years. You have been a wonderful guide in channeling her through an amazing year. We wish you the very best and hope that our paths cross sometime in future.

While Mr. Murfin showed us how experience is not always the best teacher, Ms. Vaughan demonstrated to us how experience can be absolutely priceless when working with children of different personalities. Apart from being a truly amazing teacher, Ms. Vaughan was extremely skilled at channeling her teacher based on each child’s personality. She believed in motivating the kids with little treats for work well done. During one of our parent teacher meetings, when I asked her about these little bribes, her thoughts were that when we as adults expected bonus or time off in our work lives as motivation for good work, it was only fair to encourage children similarly. She never hesitated spending her own money to buy treats for the kids while at school. She infused the school day with anecdotes of her children and their experiences to enrich the lives of her students. She always encouraged them to achieve over and above their capabilities and never forgot to reward them for their efforts. The few times that Raul has gotten into trouble, she has been truly amazing and understanding. I don’t know too many teachers who would challenge the kids to get their answers correct at the expense of shaving her head. I don’t know of any teacher who would take the trouble of buying jalapeno bagels for her students to taste and experiment with while teaching them about the different kinds of bagels. I could go on and on about the things that she has done for her students over the year. She is a spectacular teacher and blessed and lucky is Raul to have had to opportunity to learn & guided by Ms. Vaughan. Raul already worries about missing Ms. Vaughan in his new school. Ms. Vaughan, thank you for everything you have done for Raul as his 2nd grade teacher. He is truly a better child in the one year that he has been with you. I truly appreciate what you have done for him and am sure you will continue to touch and enrich the lives of many more kids just like you have for Raul. You are truly special and will remain in our hearts and memories forever. We look forward to keeping in touch with you in the coming years.

Edited to add: Ms. Vaughan, Raul’s words in his card for you summed up all I had to say in one line. I quote Raul here: “I wish I could have you as my teacher forever.”

It’s raining, it’s pouring, the old man is snoring…

As I sit at the table working away, I can’t help but gaze at the raining coming down heavily outside. Makes me want to cuddle up on the sofa with a cuppa hot tea, a soft blanket and a nice book. Since I can’t do any of the above with the works tasks looming, all I can do is take a few minutes off to enjoy the quiet and think of a few favorite songs that come to my mind on a rainy day. Here are a couple that makes me hum right along

Andhi Mazhai from the movie Raja Paarvai & Edho Megam from Mouna Ragam.

Mahaganapati Temple – A religious milestone

Here are a few pictures of Meg singing and dancing at the Mahaganapati temple Pranaprathishta function that took place this past weekend. It was a wonderful gathering that was the fruition of years of fund raising to build a temple. The function was organized immaculately and the events were choreographed to perfection thanks to the hundreds of volunteers who chipped in physically and financially. Truly heart warming to see people come together to accomplish a worthwhile goal. It was to me exciting to watch this Lord Ganesha travel from the home of a humble devotee to a makeshift mobile home to his permanent abode. To be part of this event made me feel blessed. To have Meg perform for this auspicious occasion was the icing on the cake.

The construction is far from complete but a major milestone has been reached.

Kids – their innocence, our joy

Snippets from the world of Raul and his friends…

With our friends, Terri’s mom and V leaving, the kids have been through a few farewell parties. With the OH being out of pocket, I have depended a lot on friends to help pick up Raul from school. Here is our conversation as I was dropping him off at school one morning this week.

Raul: “Amma, is M aunty picking me up today?”

Sands: “No Raul, M aunty won’t be able to today but will pick you up tomorrow.

Raul: “Is M aunty picking me up day after?”

Sands: “No Raul, M aunty leaves for India on thursday for her vacation. So amma will pick you up.”

Raul: “Are we having a farewell party for M aunty?”

Sands (now trying real hard to hold back laughter) : “No Raul, no farewell party since she will be back in a few weeks.”

Raul: “Oh! I was hoping to have one final play date with Sam”

Sands (already dialing M’s number on the cell) : “Sorry buddy! When he returns, I promise”

Next on is from Sach, V’s son…

The movers and packers have been busy packing and getting ready to move V’s stuff. As Sach watches all this, his question to V…

“Mom are they packing the swimming pool or are we leaving that behind with the house as well?”

Got to love these kids. An interesting way their brain functions. I guess they figure no harm in asking for what matters most to them.

Dad – You’re the best!

“My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.” – Clarence Kelland

My dad is someone who everyone would aspire to be like but can never be. A more self-contented individual, I am yet to meet in my life. He always taught us to look at the under privileged before we complained about our own lives. I have never seen someone who can make us do what he expects us to do without as much as raising his voice. Today as I try hard to resist spanking my kids when they do something wrong, I wonder how my dad pulled it off as successfully as he did when he was raising us. He was one who always used mom as the messenger to convey his rules and laws around the house. Not once do I remember him losing his patience when the report card from school didn’t reflect what he expected to see in it.

Most of my angst with dad when I was young revolved around his not allowing me to take school excursions or going to the movies with friends. Happy was he to take all my friends & me to the movies but going on our own was not acceptable. This is the same person who would wait by the bus stand waiting for me to return after late classes to escort me back home. Busy as he was with work and his cricket, I remember spending a number of weekends watching his team play cricket and many a Saturdays at his workplace to give mom her much needed respite from three young girls.

It is hard to fight and argue with someone who can maintain him calm through the worst of times. The only fights in our household would be when watching cricket and tennis tournaments as a family. Dad is a die hard sportsman and he did successfully transfer his love for sports to his little girls. Childhood memories are filled with days spent watching all kids of sports with dad and fighting over who was the better sportsman/woman (Sunil Gavaskar v/s Kapil Dev,  Chris Evert v/s Navratilova etc) in each of our minds much to mom’ s frustration.

Ever since I’ve been married, dad has made regular trips to spend time with the OH & me. He has been here many a times to help watch the kids when I had to get back to work after having my babies or when I went back to get my Masters after Raul was born. He is easily self content and has little or nothing to complain about. He occupied himself with updates to his favorite cricket games via the computer prior to the times of live cricket in a country that does not play the sport. Now with the international channels beaming his favorite soaps and cricket games he is a happy camper.

Yesterday, in a very non-dad moment, he snapped at me when I made a very simple request to him. Something snapped in me at being yelled at for a very benign request. I lashed out at him for hurting me and refused to have any further discussions on the topic. Both of our egos would not let us talk to each other after this fight. My mind kept telling me that he has to know that he was at fault. I wasn’t expecting him to walk over to me and apologize for what he said, but I was definitely waiting for him to make the first move towards a truce. His words had hurt me and it was going to take all my effort to extend my hand to him. Over the hours following our showdown I calmed down enough and promised myself that I wouldn’t let this bother me as much. I made up my mind to reach out to dad in the morning reasoning to self that there was probably something that was on his mind to have prompted him to behave the way he did. I did not want him to hurt anymore by not talking to him when he was with me.

Having made up my mind, it was a much happier & calmer me that got up this morning to get the kids and myself ready for school and work. As I was working on my laptop waiting to take Raul to school, dad walked up to me and apologized for what he did yesterday. After all it was not a happy night for him either after he watched his little girl cry. After a hug and kiss from dad, I was happy and more in awe of this person who put his personal pride aside to apologize to me for what he had done. Dad, I love you for who you are and I respect you more than ever for being able to accept and apologize for what you felt was wrong. You are the best and if I could be half as good & kind hearted as you, I would be considered fortunate indeed. I pray to God to give me your wonderful nature just as he was kind enough to give me your looks:)

God’s gift or human insanity?

Came across this piece of news today. To say I was floored would be an understatement. I wonder if this is even considered raising your own children anymore. Of course I have my opinions but it will have to wait for another post considering my crazy schedule. Will be back with detailed posts once the OH is back and sanity prevails.