Sands enters home from work to the same clutter that welcomes her each day. She starts ordering the kids to clean the mess while asking them to empty their lunch bags and drop them in the sink to be cleaned for the next day. Raul opens his lunch box to reveal the uneaten lunch waiting to be devoured. On questioning he replies “I wasn’t hungry amma and so didn’t eat my lunch!”
Grandma chimes in and asks “Raul, then how come you didn’t tell me you didn’t eat lunch?” She turns to Sands and exclaims “He just polished off the snack that I gave him which happens to be the exact same thing that had been packed for lunch.” Grandma also mentions in passing that the OH had given money to Raul to fund his lunch account at school that was overdue. This comment sets the cranky wheels in Sands head into motion.
On further probing, it is learnt that Raul ate lunch at the school cafeteria since he felt like it. Sands then makes Raul finish the food in his lunch box in spite of his just having finished his snack (yes I am a “meanie” as my kids call me) since wasting food is unacceptable in this household. After a tantrum of sorts the food is ingested.
Sands sits Raul down to give him the talk on lying and how it could get him into more trouble than the actual task that caused him to lie. He is told that mom & dad will most likely let it slide if he is upfront with us and tells us the truth versus trying to hide it ‘coz eventually we will come to know. The OH returns home and finds Raul hiding in his closet out of guilt ‘coz it’s been barely a week since he got into trouble the last time. OH sits him down for another chat. Raul promises not to lie anymore and we move on to other activities soon enough.
Fast forward to the next day. Sands is waiting to pick Raul up from school after chess class. The happy kid spots mom and sprints to the car and hops in. Just as Sands shifts the gear to drive and makes her way home, Raul exclaims “Amma I didn’t eat my lunch. I ate at the cafeteria ‘coz I felt like it.” Realizing that we had fallen victim to our own advice of being upfront and not lying, the OH & Sands had to next resort to groveling and exercising their negotiation skills. The deal was sealed with the agreement that Raul could eat in his cafeteria one day a week and that he could pick the day of the week.
Another hurdle in parenting 101 encountered and hopefully succeeded. Only time will tell.
