“My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.” – Clarence Kelland
My dad is someone who everyone would aspire to be like but can never be. A more self-contented individual, I am yet to meet in my life. He always taught us to look at the under privileged before we complained about our own lives. I have never seen someone who can make us do what he expects us to do without as much as raising his voice. Today as I try hard to resist spanking my kids when they do something wrong, I wonder how my dad pulled it off as successfully as he did when he was raising us. He was one who always used mom as the messenger to convey his rules and laws around the house. Not once do I remember him losing his patience when the report card from school didn’t reflect what he expected to see in it.
Most of my angst with dad when I was young revolved around his not allowing me to take school excursions or going to the movies with friends. Happy was he to take all my friends & me to the movies but going on our own was not acceptable. This is the same person who would wait by the bus stand waiting for me to return after late classes to escort me back home. Busy as he was with work and his cricket, I remember spending a number of weekends watching his team play cricket and many a Saturdays at his workplace to give mom her much needed respite from three young girls.
It is hard to fight and argue with someone who can maintain him calm through the worst of times. The only fights in our household would be when watching cricket and tennis tournaments as a family. Dad is a die hard sportsman and he did successfully transfer his love for sports to his little girls. Childhood memories are filled with days spent watching all kids of sports with dad and fighting over who was the better sportsman/woman (Sunil Gavaskar v/s Kapil Dev, Chris Evert v/s Navratilova etc) in each of our minds much to mom’ s frustration.
Ever since I’ve been married, dad has made regular trips to spend time with the OH & me. He has been here many a times to help watch the kids when I had to get back to work after having my babies or when I went back to get my Masters after Raul was born. He is easily self content and has little or nothing to complain about. He occupied himself with updates to his favorite cricket games via the computer prior to the times of live cricket in a country that does not play the sport. Now with the international channels beaming his favorite soaps and cricket games he is a happy camper.
Yesterday, in a very non-dad moment, he snapped at me when I made a very simple request to him. Something snapped in me at being yelled at for a very benign request. I lashed out at him for hurting me and refused to have any further discussions on the topic. Both of our egos would not let us talk to each other after this fight. My mind kept telling me that he has to know that he was at fault. I wasn’t expecting him to walk over to me and apologize for what he said, but I was definitely waiting for him to make the first move towards a truce. His words had hurt me and it was going to take all my effort to extend my hand to him. Over the hours following our showdown I calmed down enough and promised myself that I wouldn’t let this bother me as much. I made up my mind to reach out to dad in the morning reasoning to self that there was probably something that was on his mind to have prompted him to behave the way he did. I did not want him to hurt anymore by not talking to him when he was with me.
Having made up my mind, it was a much happier & calmer me that got up this morning to get the kids and myself ready for school and work. As I was working on my laptop waiting to take Raul to school, dad walked up to me and apologized for what he did yesterday. After all it was not a happy night for him either after he watched his little girl cry. After a hug and kiss from dad, I was happy and more in awe of this person who put his personal pride aside to apologize to me for what he had done. Dad, I love you for who you are and I respect you more than ever for being able to accept and apologize for what you felt was wrong. You are the best and if I could be half as good & kind hearted as you, I would be considered fortunate indeed. I pray to God to give me your wonderful nature just as he was kind enough to give me your looks:)
