What do I know?

I have only carried him inside me for 9 months and then raised him for 11 years. Between him and his sister, I have raised them solely to prove me wrong and eat my own words. But as long as I am wrong and they are happy with that path,  I am willing to be wrong over and over again.

As I have mentioned in multiple posts, Raul has changed schools every year since 2nd grade. It as never our intent but for some compelling reason, we have had to switch him each year. The trooper that he is, has always eased himself into the new environment and sailed along. While the older child is everything responsible, conscientious, self motivated and diligent, the younger one is quite the opposite. Inspite of being a quick learner, he loves to sail through with minimum effort and a laissez faire attitude. He is constantly testing how far he can push his work without getting into trouble and when he is in trouble, eternally figuring out how creatively he can get out of it. The OH and I have had this feeling that this child needs just the right amount of push without much pressure. That balance is what we strive for everyday at home with him.

This year the school that he chose to move him to is a school that is very different from the schools he is used to in this country. Contrary to most schools here, this school strives for academic excellence in their kids through tests, examination and quizzes similar to the Indian system. The predominant student population is Asian and along with that comes exterme peer pressure. The school has done exceptionally well with organization and structure and that is what we believed would help Raul the most. They have proven their standard and performance at multiple locations prior to starting the branch close to our home and so we hoped that all of this would work the magic for Raul as well.

At open house, when the OH and I visited the school for the very first time, I was extremely skeptical this environment would work for Raul. There was a significant amount of accountability and responsibility placed on the child and I was very unsure if Raul was ready for that. I worried that the child who was too distracted to take down notes from one blackboard in a single class room would ease into a school where he was expected to walk the corridor to each of his classes, and stop inbetween each class to gather his notes for that class from the locker and still listen and absorb everything the teacher had to say. He was overwhelmed as well but the only thing going for him was that a bunch of his friends would be moving to this school as well. The OH & I chatted and promised ourselves that we would not pressure the child to do anything beyond the teacher’s expectations for the class. We would not force him to sign up for advanced lessons unless he wished to sign up for any. We told ourselves that if he was genuinely unhappy we could always switch him back to his old school the next academic year. We were convinced we had it all figured out before Raul started school.

School starts and suddenly the child who couldn’t stay focused in one classroom and one teacher can now juggle walking to multiple classrooms and working to the assignments of multiple teachers. He plans his school time to do homework with his buddies and tries to stay on top of his schoolwork. He loves every single teacher and enjoys his lessons. His journal has all the details the teacher requested them to take down and he can tell us exactly what is due each day. The OH and I are speechless.  We are clueless to what is so different in the approach that works for him. While we thought this child may feel like his wings were cut of in this school, he is showing us signs of soaring even higher than ever before.

His favorite subject is Latin. To the child who loves learning new languages this is a treat. While he tested for advanced math, he made it through one level but did not quite have the next level mastered. So we chose to keep him in the same level he had already mastered to enable him to learn the next level in greater detail. When he claimed he was bored in Math since he had done it all last year, I asked him if he wanted to test again and jump up to the next level. The clarity in his response amazed me. He said, he’d rather work this level again and gain a better understanding of the level he had not fully mastered rather then go there with half the knowledge. That is music to the ears of a mother who was dreading his homework and having to force him into hours of school work each day

So much for even having the audacity to think we had him all figured out. If this is what a choice that we felt wouldn’t be right for him does to him, we are happy to do the same mistakes twice, thrice as many times over as it takes. Someday Rahul, when you read this I want you to know I am sorry I thought this wouldn’t work for you and that you would hate the expectations. I wish for you to excel in school without losing the joie de vivre that you possess. Hope this is the beginning to a life long love and quest for learning and education. Just know that amma will be in the sidelines cheering you along.

Advertisement